We Cannot Turn Off What You Think We Control

If you're a Neurosparkler reading this, you know exactly what I mean when I say we cannot turn off what others assume we can control.

You've been told to "just focus" when your brain processes seventeen different inputs individually and simultaneously. You've been asked to "tone it down" when your natural operating level is what others call too intense.

You've been expected to "just relax" when your nervous system doesn't have an off switch - it has a glitch switch.

They're wrong about what we can control.

This newsletter exists because I'm done pretending we can moderate what cannot be moderated. I'm done with sanitized, clinical versions of our experience created by people who study gifted neurodivergence but don't live this reality.

Neurosparkle is my term for all the STIQS that make Twice Exceptional (2e) cognitively complicated grown ups who we are - the neurological intensities others expect us to suppress, control, or explain away because we also happen to be smart.

Neither Neurosparkle or 2e are diagnostic terms. They are simply my lived reality.

🧠 What Does “Twice-Exceptional” Mean?

Twice-exceptional (2e) individuals are people who are both gifted (typically in cognitive ability, creativity, or intellectual potential) and have one or more neurodevelopmental differences or disabilities, such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, or others.

This combination creates a paradox:

Our high ability often masks our struggles, and our struggles often mask our abilities — leading to chronic misunderstanding, misdiagnosis, or missed support.

In other words:

Who This Is For

You are the adult who was the "weird smart kid" who never quite fit anywhere. 

You compensated so well that your struggles were invisible. You achieved despite your challenges, so people assumed you didn't have any.

But you know what it costs to operate in a world designed for people whose brains have volume controls your brain was never issued.

We are the people who:

• Cannot turn off pattern recognition even when we want to ignore what we can’t not see

• Process emotional data from everyone and everything around us whether we try to or not

• Think in interconnected webs that others expect us to translate into linear explanations so they can understand what we mean

• Feel everything at maximum intensity because that's how our nervous systems work…

• Until our glitch switch gets tripped and we shut down, melt down and have to restart to recalibrate

• See solutions and connections that others miss, then get asked why we "overcomplicate" things and think we “know it all”

We are exhausted by:

• Being told we're "too sensitive" when our nervous systems process everything at full volume

• Having people assume we can dial down our intensity on command

• Existing in systems designed for people who can compartmentalize what we experience as an integrated whole and still recognize the individual components

• Being expected to explain why we can't just "turn off" our natural neurological state

Why I'm Doing This Differently

I've spent years trying to write a newsletter where I translate Neurosparkle into Nearlynormie. It never worked.

When I speak fluent Neurosparkle without worrying how it sounds, something different happens. The people I am talking to hear me.

This week I have been conducting an experiment. I'm posting on TikTok - unfiltered, unedited, speaking directly and unapologetically about what it's really like to live with neurological intensities that don't have off switches.

No algorithm optimization. No concern for conventional social media rules. After all, TikTok may go away completely so it’s an experiment, not an investment.

Just pure Neurosparkle communication to see who shows up.

I have a feeling it's going to change everything because so far with just a few days it already has shown me why this matters:

There's a massive hole in the content landscape shaped exactly like authentic twice-exceptional communication, and I'm about to fill it.

The Neurosparkle Reality Check

Here's what nobody tells you about being twice-exceptional:

Your brain doesn't have the same control panels others take for granted. When they say "just calm down," they're asking you to access neurological functions you don't have. When they tell you to "focus," they assume you can selectively attend to single inputs instead of processing everything simultaneously.

This isn't a deficit. This is how your nervous system works.

But the world expects you to operate as if you have the same neurological equipment as people whose brains can compartmentalize, filter, and moderate in ways yours cannot.

The result?

You spend enormous energy trying to appear "normal" while your actual neurological experience remains invisible and unsupported.

What's Coming

This week's TikTok experiment is proving that when you stop trying to appeal to everyone, you start reaching the people who actually need what you have.

Just in a few days of irregular but authentic posting, my TikTok followers have grown by over 250%.

Next week: I'll tell you how breaking every social media rule led me to find my people, and why the algorithm was wrong about everything.

The Auntie Paige Promise

Every week, I'll send you insights about living with the STIQS that make Neurosparklers who we are. Real talk about twice-exceptionality from someone who lives it, not someone who studies it.

No clinical distance. No academic jargon. No sanitized versions of our experience.

Just the unfiltered truth about what it means to live with neurological intensities that others cannot understand and expect us to control.

Because we deserve content that reflects our actual neurological reality instead of asking us to pretend we're someone else.

🪧 Subscribe now because Your Brain Doesn't Come with Volume Controls...

Are you ready to stop translating yourself for people who will never understand your neurological frequency anyway?

The intensity isn't a flaw. It isn't a phase. It's ingrained in your STIQS. And if you don't learn to work with your neurological reality, you'll spend your life apologizing for what you cannot control.

I hate to tell you this, but you don't get to opt out of how your nervous system works.

One moment.

That's all it takes for everything to click.

Someone speaks your neurological language. The patterns make sense. You realize you're not broken—you're just operating with intensities others can't comprehend.

You're no longer just "too much" or "too sensitive" or "too intense."

You're a Neurosparkler—and everything changes when you stop trying to dim your brilliance because it hurts someone else's eyes.

Subscribe now for unfiltered truths, authentic experiences, and unapologetic reality from someone who speaks fluent neurosparkle and refuses to translate.

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